brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
