I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
