so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
