You're a womanizer and a bitch.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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