i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
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At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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