I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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