K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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