she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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