I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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