I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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