garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My ass is underappreciated
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
