if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
