there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
