is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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