i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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