her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
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Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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