Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
