Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
