this boner is exhausting
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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