Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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