is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
