I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
