Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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