uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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