Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
