The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
