so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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