We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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