I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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