the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
