I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
