Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
