So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
