We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Panties = found
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
