Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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