Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
