One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
