I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize