This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
