I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
