yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize