So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
