some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This is classic penis vs brain.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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