Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Me. At least after what I've been through.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
