it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
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Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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