There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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