i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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