ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
