Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
