I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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