I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
