she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just pynch a tree in the face
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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