pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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