we're chasing vodka with high fives
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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