I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
