If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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