I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
