margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
