How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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