you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
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how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
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Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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