I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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