Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
