so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Sober January is a disaster.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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